


Anything you say will stay in my head for days and days

by saltwife



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: AU, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Possible Dance with Dragons Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-09
Updated: 2012-03-09
Packaged: 2017-11-01 16:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltwife/pseuds/saltwife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was honor and vows that made Jon whisper a quiet no, and Jaime almost wished he’d felt some sort of shame in even asking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anything you say will stay in my head for days and days

Jaime tastes blood and Snow.

Fire and sleet pour down in thick sheets, so much that he feels matted and packed down against the red ground. He’s on fire. He’s cold.

And it’s dark.

There are flashes of bodies. Bodies of men who’d only just fallen moments ago, but now cold and frozen, eyes glowing. Animated. The only noise he can hear is the pounding in his own head, and he thinks that’s the blood he tastes. His own, rushing past his lips in some eager attempt to mark the ground saying _here, here is Jaime’s place_.

He tries to focus on the other taste, not the coppery one. Snow. Warm, with a soft roughness Jaime can’t begin to describe. Hesitant, eager, shaking, still, and even on his deathbed Jaime manages a torn, broken laugh. It causes him to choke and more of that red spills and bubbles out. And to think, after everything, Jaime Lannister had still been vain and arrogant enough to even dare to hope it wouldn’t end this way. But what other way was there? Jaime, and _him_ , gods be good, together, happy? That makes him laugh again, and groan, body trying to curl in on itself.

Happiness was something he’d almost forgotten. Or rather, Jaime had been on the verge of forgetting. And it hadn’t been horrible, not worse than some things. No, the horrible part was the remembering. In dark corners of a watch tower, bodies pressed tight against the stone wall to share body heat. And other things. That’s what hurt, more than any sword stuck through his gut.

_**Leave**_. _Leave_. Leave.

That’d been just days ago, as Jon sat in the Lord Commander’s quarters, wrapped up in furs. One final attempt at any real rest before the upcoming battle, but it’d been a lost cause like all the rest. Jaime had seen to that. _Leave_. _Leave_. He’d looked sharp at Jaime then, frowning, until his scowl morphed into a grimace and then a sad, sad, wince. Jon hadn’t looked at Jaime for the longest time, choosing instead to cast his eyes at the wall or over at the door. It was honor and vows that made Jon whisper a quiet no, and Jaime almost wished he’d felt some sort of shame in even asking. It always came back to honor.

Jaime had even tried to regain some of it back, but it wasn’t worth it. Nothing was worth it. Not this. Not to Jaime. And Jon had to see that, felt that, didn’t he? So he’d stepped close, hand pressed to the side of Jon’s head and forced him to look him in the eye as he asked again. _We’ll leave this place_. Jaime had gripped him tighter, because both their lives depended on it. He’d lost too much and gained something back, and Jaime couldn’t do it again. _The free cities, we’ll take a ship. We can reach the coast fast enough_ -

Jaime had been silenced with a kiss, and it _hurt_ , but he focuses on it anyways.

He hasn’t seen Jon for some time, and Jaime isn’t sure if that’s a blessing or a curse. It’s hurting worse now, everything, and Jaime lets out a groan and tries to twist his body. It’s a slow, painful process, but he manages to land awkward and sprawled out. His armor cuts into him, and for once he wishes he hadn’t bothered. There’s a frost growing up his legs, he can feel it, and clutches his eyes shut tight and tries to think of the way Jon would hide a smile at one of Jaime’s japes. The way his eyes got hard when he was giving command or the curve of his neck and arch of his back when Jaime fucks him. The frost continues, and Jaime screams and digs his fingers into the ground. This is it. He’s done now, and Jaime only half wishes he could see Jon just for a split second before he loses his mind entirely, but he doesn’t. Instead, just in the trees deep past the bloodied and wrecked battleground, he sees Ghost, and funny enough, the wolf almost looks heart broke.


End file.
